It can be learned but it can't be taught. - Stephen King -- Dan Carow

You know that quote by Stephen King?

"It can be learned, but it can't be taught."

When I first heard it, I had to sit with it for a minute. It sounds like a contradiction, right? Like, how can something be learned but not taught? Isn’t that the whole point of teachers? But the more I thought about it, especially in the context of my own life and career, the more it made sense. In fact, it might be one of the most honest things anyone's ever said about learning.

Here’s how I interpret it: you can hand someone all the tools, show them every technique, walk them through every step - but unless they want to learn, they won’t. Full stop.

Learning, at its core, is an inside job.

Sure, we can have great mentors, incredible resources, even AI-powered tutors that break things down just for us however we prefer. But none of it matters if we’re not actively engaged. We have to choose to lean in, to wrestle with the ideas, to push through the confusion and discomfort. That part? No one else can do it for us.

This has never been more true than it is today. Think about it: we have everything at our fingertips. You want to learn how to run a critical path schedule? There are 15 YouTube videos for that. Need to understand the nuances of change order documentation? There’s a subreddit, a blog, a podcast, and probably a course on LinkedIn Learning. Generative AI can literally act like a one-on-one tutor, tailored to your pace, your language, your quirks.

But here’s the kicker: with all that knowledge just sitting there, waiting, the only thing standing between you and mastery is... you.

That’s the real message behind King’s quote. The onus is on the student.

When I look back on the most important things I’ve learned in my career - whether it was how to navigate a tough client conversation, how to organize field notes that actually help during change disputes, or how to build trust with a crew that’s seen five PMs come and go - those lessons only stuck because I was ready for them. I was curious, open, even a little desperate sometimes. And that’s when the learning happened.

Not when someone handed me a perfectly structured lesson plan.

So what does this mean for us today, especially if you're early in your career or trying to level up into a leadership role?

It means you can't wait around for someone to teach you. You have to get curious. Ask better questions. Try, fail, reflect, repeat. Use the resources. Leverage AI. Watch the videos. But more than anything, engage. Own your learning like it's your job - because honestly, it kind of is. 

• Sit in front of the classroom.

• Raise your hand and ask questions.

• Do the homework.

And look, this isn’t about hustle culture or turning everything into a self-improvement project. It’s just about recognizing that the best teachers in the world still can’t force the lightbulb to turn on in your head. That part? That spark? That’s yours to ignite.

So yeah, Stephen King was talking about writing when he said it, but it applies to construction, leadership, life - pretty much anything worth doing.

It can be learned, but it can't be taught.

The question is: are you ready?

What’s one lesson you only truly learned on the job—not in a book?